Summer Time Truth
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You know what May brings right...my birthday yes but also Memorial Day, the beginning of Summer and I am ready. Ready for it ALL. The twinkling of fireflies lights up the warm night sky. The smell of BarBQ fills the air with its mouth-watering spiciness. The kids smell like sweat and sunshine and our pace is just a little bit slower as we embrace the unscheduled lightness that the summertime months bring. Am I painting enough of this idyllic picture? Are you secretly rolling your eyes at me right now? Yeah, I would be too. We DO have those moments for sure but the reality is more chaotic than I would like to admit.
Fantasy: My children sweet-faced and freshly washed are sitting together playing a game of Monopoly, while I read Hemingway on my porch rocking chair while the sun sets magnificently in the sky. Reality: They start out playing Monopoly nicely until one of them starts to “win”, it then turns into a scuffling match because one of them is “cheating” and all the pieces get thrown all over the basement floor and instead of calmly disciplining them I throw down my Hemingway, grab a garbage bag and start stuffing it with Monopoly board pieces. True story.
Fantasy: We will take time to go on mini-adventures and explore our beautiful state. With the crazy sports and school schedules during the year we do not have much unstructured time. So with the promise of long summer days also comes the expectations that we will fill them with life long memories. Reality: I have to pry the teenagers out of bed before noon. They are awake but grumpy complaining of losing precious sleep time, begrudgingly get in the car and roll their eyes the entire way. I probably say at least 3 times in the 90-minute drive “if you don’t stop complaining I am going to turn this car around”, only realizing that it's EXACTLY what they want me to do.
Fantasy: We plan our summer trip together giggling over past adventures. During the said trip we relax, rejuvenate, and reconnect as a family. Voluntarily pose for pictures, share stories on the white sand in front of the ocean with a bonfire making smores. My husband and I quietly check on the kids who have fallen asleep soundly with sticky (halal) marshmallow faces smelling of salt water and smoke from the bonfire. We smile at each other with pride at another fabulous family vacation planned. Reality: There IS a little bit of the above but add the following. Mama stressed because she is determined to make these memories (doggonit), forced smiles in these pictures, kids poking at each other physically and verbally, you crash into bed every night because you are going at top speed the entire day and you don’t really rest until you come home.
Fantasy: All the household/family projects you didn’t have time during the year to tackle you fish out the list with the grand plans of getting it all done. Cleaning out closets-check, organizing garage-check, putting together family photo albums-check. Reality: you get NONE of that accomplished because you are spending every spare moment you have Ubering your kids around town to their various summer activities. Oy-Vey
Despite this semi-complaint summer-time with my family is the best time of the year for me. Watching my kids with heads close whispering together, the idle time we have in between activities to really stop and enjoy each other, baseball games on sweltering summer nights, the smell of chlorine in soft brown hair, ice cream mustaches that insist on giving you sticky wet kisses. These are all the memories I hold dear to my heart and get me through some of those murkier mommying moments. I hope your summer is sun-kissed and as blessed as mine.
Until Next Time,
Zaiba Hasan
Mommying While Muslim Podcast
Emerge Parenting
