Hanging On
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We went on a family trip to Dubai in the spring of 2013. My eldest daughter was 12 and my youngest was 4. As always, it was my job to put the whole trip together—from flights, passports, and hotels, to excursions and packing. At this point, I was the vacation planning queen.
One of our excursions involved going to the dunes in a jeep, exploring on ATVs, then ending the day with a camel ride in the desert. I was so looking forward to the camel ride. It had always been on my bucket list and finally it was about to happen. When we arrived, only my 11-year-old daughter wanted to ride the camel with me. We made it to the camel station. Our guide was originally from Pakistan and spoke both Urdu and Arabic.
The camel was kneeling and sitting on the floor in a relaxed position. It had many colorful textiles with tassels hanging around its saddle. The guide decided to sit my daughter in the front and I was to sit behind her. He told me to put my left foot on the footrest, hold the saddle strap, throw my right leg over the camel's back and pull myself on the saddle. It sounded easy to do and I was ready. I put my left foot on the footrest and while holding onto the saddle strap, I pulled myself up to throw my right leg over the camel's back. Suddenly, the camel decided to stand up
There I was, literally hanging off the side of a 6-foot-tall camel with my right foot stuck on the corner of the saddle, my left foot barely on the footrest. The only thing keeping me from falling was my tight grip on the saddle strap, which I was quickly losing. I was neither able to pull myself up or get off the camel safely. The guide was right there watching this whole thing take place. I asked him to help me in Urdu and he kept saying he needed permission. “I give you permission to help me get down,” I said to him. “No, my sister, I need his permission,” he said. I couldn’t see the guide because he was behind me. “Who are you talking about?” I asked him. “Your husband,” he said.
I turned my head to my left and saw my husband standing about 8 feet away from me. He was amused with what he saw. He had a saucer in one hand and a teacup in the other and was happily drinking his tea. I was trying to process so many things at this point. I’m hanging off a camel, the guide wouldn’t help without my husband's permission, my husband just stood there drinking his tea and laughing at me. He didn't even move an inch to come help me.
I hung on for my life. At that moment, I thought I was going to fall. The reality that no one would be there to catch me was frightening and hard to accept.
“You don’t need his permission; I give you permission. Just get me down, please!” I cried out.
I could tell from the guide’s voice that he was worried and confused at the same time. He wanted to help me but didn't want to offend my husband and was wondering why my husband wasn’t running to come help. While the guide was panicking, I kept praying that the camel wouldn’t go running off into the desert with me dangling on its side.
“Brother, is it ok if I help your wife down?” the guide asked my husband. My husband smiled, took another sip of his tea, gave his approval and walked away. The guide helped me off and I saw the disappointment in his eyes. “I’m so sorry sister,” he kept saying to me. He seemed more disappointed than I was. I was numb, drained, and felt worthless. My daughter hugged me and took my hand as we walked back.
I wasn't asked if I was okay or if I needed anything when I walked back with my daughter to the rest of the family. We got into the jeep to go back to the hotel. That day, I left my self-worth hanging on the side of the camel.
Hurunnessa Fariad is Director of Outreach for Multi-Faith Neighbor’s Network. Ms. Fariad is also Head of Outreach & Interfaith at the All Dulles Area Muslim Society (ADAMS Center). Ms. Fariad is the Secretary of the Board of Directors at Virginia Interfaith Center for Public Policy, Leadership Circle for One America Movement and involved in many other organizations. Ms. Fariad is the Music Director of America's first Mosque Youth Choir, The ADAMS BEAT. Ms. Fariad is the founder and co-host of the Sister Act Podcast along with co-hosts Dr. Sabrina Dent and Rabbi Susan Shankman. Conversations centered around shame, stigma, rights and social justice issues and how our faith addresses these topics.
