During my undergraduate studies at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, one of my anthropology professors posed a question. “Is there a difference between spirituality and religion?” Most of my classmates and I agreed that, indeed, there is a difference. However, we held wildly divergent definitions of what it means to be spiritual versus religious.

Some two decades later, I have finally sculpted my response to that insuperable question. Okay, here’s the situation…

What Is the Soul?

For the purpose of this article, think of personality and ego synonymously. Likewise, spirit and soul are used interchangeably. Got it? Great!

People tend to think of themselves in egoic terms-- their genealogical heritage, sex, race, religious affiliations, likes or dislikes, employment, etc. They believe that their soul is something they possess, like a favorite pair of jeans they can slide on or off at will. This thinking is backward.

The spirit is who you are while the ego is constructed of characteristics that morph over time. Yes, even your idea of race and genealogy can alter. I discovered this firsthand when I realized that my paternal great-grandmother immigrated to America from India. However, the spirit guides you throughout your lifetime and exists in some form after your body dies. The soul is connected to all consciousness (aka God, Allah, Goddess, Jah, Brahma, HaShem, Ahura Mazda, the Tao, etc.) be they human, animal, etheric or inanimate. Your soul is immutable.

What is Spirituality?

Spirituality is the process of reconnecting to and acting upon inner guidance. Spirituality takes on many forms according to one’s inclinations. Creative work such as painting, writing, baking, computer programming and design can be spiritual. Physicality in the form of playing sports, weightlifting, hiking, running, swimming and yard work are also tools of soul expression. Contrary to popular misconception, mental acts such as balancing accounts, analyzing data, and scientific experimentation can bring on the feeling of being in the zone. ‘In the zone’ is another term for spirituality.

What Does Spirituality Look Like?

When someone is stressed, she may get the urge to go for a jog in nature, take a bath, do yoga, meditate, pray, sing, laugh or have sex (accompanied or solo). These impulses are cues from the soul to rebalance physical, mental and emotional health.

At times, the soul expresses itself as aggression. Your spirit prefers to scream at a child, cry, punch a pillow or curse at inconsiderate motorists rather than strangle a child, repress tears, punch a spouse or run inconsiderate motorists off the road. When the soul is denied expressions of harmless aggression, that repressed energy will eventually explode to wreak havoc in the world or implode to cause stress and dis-ease in the body. For this reason, practicing spirituality regularly can be advantageous. 

How Do I Cultivate a Spiritual Practice?

Though it sounds easy, cultivating a practice of tuning out the noise from well-meaning parents, teachers, and authority figures may pose unique challenges, particularly to women. Women are widely enculturated to view themselves as the weaker sex. Even in “advanced societies” gender norms attempt to corral spiritual expressions of female personality. We can be smart but not too smart, funny but not a comic, sensual but not sexual, a CEO but not aggressive, an entrepreneur but not veer too far from innovations conceived and/or sanctioned by men. In other words, women are largely taught to value others’ assessments of who we can and cannot be in society over our own.

In order to foster a spiritual practice, one must first break this habit. Fortunately, women have also been deemed the more intuitive sex. Therefore, we have nurtured the idea of heeding a woman’s intuition even when empirical data contradicts our natural inclinations. In a sense, heeding those desires or urges sets the groundwork for a spiritual practice.

Whether you cuddle your pet, go for a long drive, practice a martial art, enjoy a slice of cake, pray, read religious texts, or provide acts of service; the more you allow your Soul Self to shine through, the more spiritual you will become.

What is The Difference Between Religion and Spirituality? 

Spirituality is any belief, behavior or practice that reminds us of who we are. Religion is any belief, behavior or practice taught to us to help remind us of who we are. Spirituality is born within. Religion comes from outside ourselves. Religiosity can be spiritual but,  like anything else, can also be devoid of soul. Religion can be misused, misguided or perverted. Spirituality cannot.

 Your soul is who you are. Your soul does not want you to be happy. Your soul is happy. It simply wants your personality to be a truer reflection of Itself.